In Islam, there are commonly five (5) occasions that a married couple (husband and wife) are not allowed to engage in sexual relations temporarily. These times are: During menstruation (menses), during postnatal bleeding, during fasting in the Month of Ramadan (day time), during performing Hajj (In Ihram for Pilgrimage), and during observing Overnight Stay in a mosque, (I’tikaf in the last ten days of Ramadan).

* MENSTRUATION: Menstruation, which is also called menses, is the periodic discharge of blood from the uterus occurring approximately monthly from puberty to menopause in non- pregnant woman and usually lasts for seven (7) days. It is absolutely unlawful or forbidden in Islam that a husband engages in sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having menstruation. Both the Noble Qur'an and Sunnah of the Prophet (S.A.W) prohibit sexual intercourse during menses.

Allah (S.W.T) says: "And they ask you (O Muhammad) about menstruation. Say: ‘It is harmful (for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves (from menses and have taken a full bath), then come to them from where Allah has commanded you (through her reproductive organ only). Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves." [Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse: 222].

Abu Hurairah (R.A) narrated: The Prophet (S.A.W) said: "If anyone goes to a soothsayer and believes in what he says, or has intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating, or has intercourse with his wife through her anus, he disbelieves in what has been sent down to Muhammad (i.e Islam)." (Sunan Abu Dawud, Sahih).

When the menstruation period is over and the wife has purified or cleansed her body by taking full bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly her private part, then her husband is allowed to have intercourse with her or the spouses are allowed to engage in sexual intercourse again. It is recommended that wife cleans inside her private part with cotton treated with musk before she takes cleansing bath. It is not an obligation but it is Sunnah to do it.

Aisha (R.A) narrated: Al-Ansari woman asked the Prophet (S.A.W) how to take a bath after finishing from the menses. He replied: "Take a piece of cloth perfumed with musk and clean the private parts with it three times." The Prophet (S.A.W) felt shy and turned his face away. So I pulled her to me and told her what the Prophet (S.A.W) meant." (Sahih Al-Bukhari).

Scientific Research has proved that menstrual blood flow contains certain toxic substances that are harmful. These substances are damaging if they enter into the male body or pushed back into the female body if intercourse is performed while woman is menstruating. Blood-borne diseases can be painful as well as deadly. Beside diseases, if husband and wife deliberately engage in intercourse while the wife is having menstruation, then they commit sin and sincere repentance is necessary for forgiveness from Allah (S.W.T).

A man can kiss, hug, or caress his wife while she is having menstruation but he should not touch the area of his wife between navel and knees as that is not permitted in Islam. He can touch, fondle, or caress gently any area above the navel (belly-button) or below knees. However, if the husband thinks that he cannot control his sexual temptations and he fears to fall to sin, then he should not approach his wife's body during this period at all.

On the authority of his father, Abdur-Rahman Ibn Al-Aswad (R.A) reported that Aisha, the wife of the prophet (SAW), said: "Whenever Allah's Messenger (S.A.W) wanted to fondle anyone of us during her periods (menses), he used to order her to put on an Izar (waist-wrapper covering between navel and knees) and start fondling her." Aisha added: "None of you could control his sexual desires as the Prophet (S.A.W) could." (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim).

If a husband finds that his wife just starts having menses during intercourse, he should immediately withdraw from her.

Maimuna, Prophet’s wife, (R.A) narrated: "Whenever Allah's Messenger (S.A.W) wanted to fondle any of his wives during the periods (menses), he used to ask her to wear an Izar (waist-wrapper)." (Sahih Al-Bukhari).

Aisha (R.A) narrated: "When I was menstruating, The Prophet (S.A.W) would order me to wrap myself up (with waist-wrapper) and would start fondling me."

(Jami’ At-Tirmidhi, Bulugh Al-Maram).

Anas Bin Malik (R.A) narrated: The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W) said: "Associate with them (wives during menses) in the houses and do everything for them except sexual intercourse." (Sunan Abu Dawud, Sunan Ibnu Majah).

* POSTNATAL BLEEDING: The Post-Natal bleeding (Postpartum bleeding) is when the wife has a child-birth or delivers a baby and then she continues losing some blood for a while. All women lose some blood during and after delivery because the amount of blood in woman's body rises up by about 50% during pregnancy, and her body is well prepared for this normal blood loss. This period usually lasts for 40 days. The same Islamic rules that apply to menstruation also apply exactly when wife is in post-natal bleeding period without exceptions at all. When post-natal bleeding period is over and the wife has purified or cleansed herself by taking full bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly her private part then her husband is allowed to have intercourse with her or the spouses are allowed to engage in sexual intercourse again. When wives have menses or postnatal bleeding, they are not allowed to pray, to fast, to circumvent or go around the Ka’bah, to touch, carry, or recite the Noble Qur’an, and to stay overnight in the mosque for worship (I’tikaf).

A man can kiss, hug, or caress his wife while she is having post- natal bleeding but he should not touch the area of his wife between navel and knees as that is not permitted in Islam. He can touch, or caress gently any area above the navel (belly-button) or below knees. However, if the husband thinks that he cannot control his sexual temptations and he fears to fall to sin then he should not approach his wife's body during this period at all.

* DURING THE MONTH OF RAMADAN: Ramadan is the ninth month (9) of Islamic Calendar when Muslims are enjoined to fast obligatorily from dawn until sunset during this month. A Muslim couple (husband and wife) are prohibited to engage in sexual intercourse during the day time in the Month of Ramadan while they are fasting but they are allowed to have sexual relations at night. In the beginning of Islam, sexual acts were completely forbidden in the Month of Ramadan including nights. However, as sexual intercourse is an act that married couples fail to avoid it sometimes when it is prohibited, some Muslims broke the law for engaging in sexual intercourse during Ramadan nights thus deceiving themselves. Then Allah (S.W.T), knowing that they deceived against themselves, forgave them and allowed Muslims to have sexual relations during the nights of Ramadan with His mercy.

Allah (S.W.T) says: "It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the nights of Ramadan (Fasting Month). They are garment for you and you are garment for them. Allah knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so He turned to you (accepted your repentance) and forgave you. So now have sexual relations with them and seek that which Allah has ordained for you (offspring), and eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (darkness of night), then complete your fast till the nightfall. [Surah Al- Baqarah, Verse: 187].

Abu Hurairah (R.A) narrated: Allah's Messenger (S.A.W) said: "Allah said, every act of the son of Adam is for him except fasting which is for Me, and I will give the reward for it. Fasting is the shield from the fire and from committing sins. If one of you is fasting, he should avoid sexual relations with his wife and quarreling, and if somebody should fight or quarrel with him, he should say, 'I am fasting’. By Whom in Whose Hands is the life of Muhammad, the unpleasant smell coming out from the mouth of a fasting person is better in the sight of Allah than the smell of musk. There are two joys for the fasting person, one at the time of breaking his fast, and the other at the time when he will meet his Lord; then he will be pleased because of his fasting." (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim).

So, there is absolutely nothing wrong for a married couple to engage in sexual relations during the nights of Ramadan as long as they abstain (avoid) from such activities from the eve of Fajar until sunset. A husband can kiss or fondle his wife while fasting without doing any sexual act. However, if the husband thinks that he cannot control his sexual temptations and he fears to fall to sin while fasting, then he should not approach his wife's body while fasting during the day.

Aisha (R.A) narrated: "The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W) would kiss and fondle while he was fasting, and he had the most control among you of his limbs."

(Jami’ At-Tirmidhi).

Hafsa, the wife of the Prophet, (R.A) reported: "The Messenger of

Allah (S.A.W) kissed (his wives) while fasting." (Sahih Muslim)

Aisha, the mother of believers, (R.A) said: "The Messenger of Allah

(S.A.W) used to kiss me when he was fasting and when I was fasting."

(Sunan Abu Dawud).

* DURING HAJJ SEASON AND UMRAH: The Hajj season or period is the time the Hajj is performed and it usually consists of 5 days that occur from the 8th to 12th Dhul-Hijjah, which is the 12th or the last month of the Islamic calendar. A Muslim married couple are prohibited to perform any sexual relations or do its inviting actions such as kissing, caressing, embracing etc once they enter Ihram for the Hajj and Umrah. Ihram is one's intention of undertaking the acts of Hajj starting at a particular place called Miqat. If the husband and the wife are in the state of Ihram for the Hajj or for Umrah, it is forbidden for them to even tempt each other for sexual act or any of its inviting actions. Once all rituals or acts of the Hajj or Umrah have been performed completely and rightfully, then Ihram for the Hajj is over and the married couple can have sexual relations. The same laws apply to all the sacred months of the Hajj which are Dhul-Hijjah, Muharram, Safar, & Rabi` I (12th, 1st, 2nd, 3rd months).

Allah (S.W.T) says: "The Hajj (Pilgrimage) is (in) the well-known months. So whosoever intends to perform Hajj therein (by entering Ihram), then he should not have sexual relations (with his wife), nor commit sin, nor dispute unjustly during the Hajj. And whatever good you do, Allah knows it. And take provisions for the journey, but the best provision is righteousness (At-Taqwa). So fear Me, O men of understanding!" [Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse: 197].

Abu Hurairah (R.A) reported: The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W) said: "Whoever performs Hajj (Pilgrimage) for Allah’s sake and does not have sexual relations (with his wife), nor commits sin, nor disputes unjustly (during Hajj), then he returns from Hajj as pure and free from sins as on the day on which his mother gave birth to him." (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)

* OVERNIGHT STAY IN MOSQUE (I’Tikaf): The Overnight Stay in a mosque is a period of time in which a Muslim person goes into seclusion (in isolation from worldly affairs) in the mosque for the sole purpose of worshipping Allah (S.W.T) and attaching his heart or her heart to Allah's worship and remembrance. This Overnight Stay in mosque provides an opportunity to the believer to be as close as possible to Allah (S.W.T), The Creator of the whole Universe and everything in it, by temporarily freeing his or her mind from the activities and worries of life in this world. This is a great opportunity to train oneself to disassociate temporarily from the torments, thoughts, and worries of the world and focus only on Allah alone for forgiveness and guidance.

The Overnight Stay worship in the mosque can be performed anytime during the year. However, the best one is that which Muslims perform during the last ten (10) days of the month of Ramadan. Muslim Scholars, especially The Four Major Sunni Schools, believe that one of the greatest purpose or objective of Overnight Stay in the mosque (I’tikaf) is to seek or seize the opportunity of Laylatul-Qadar (The Night of Power: A blessed night by Allah that has the virtue of 83 years) which coincides in the last ten (10) nights of Ramadan. A Muslim person comes out of Overnight Stay Worship when Ramadan ends. This is Sunnah according to the consensus of The Four Major Sunni Schools.

Aisha (R.A) reported: "The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W) used to observe I'tikaf in the last ten days of Ramadan." (Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim).

Ibn Umar (R.A) reported: "The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W) used to

observe I'tikaf in the last ten days of Ramadan." (Sahih Muslim).

The Overnight Stay worship in the mosque (I'tikaf) is not obligatory but strongly recommended, especially in the last ten (10) days of Ramadan and it is only valid for men or women to observe The I’tikaf in a mosque. It is also required that the mosque in which the Overnight Stay Worship is held should be a mosque in which prayers are held in congregation. Muslims are prohibited from engaging in sexual intercourse during the nights of I’tikaf.

Allah (S.W.T) says: "And do not have sexual relations with them (your wives) as long as you are staying for worship in the mosques (staying in mosques overnight for prayers, invocations, remembering, and worshipping Allah at night). These are the limits (set by) Allah, so do not approach them. Thus does Allah make clear His limits to mankind that they may become righteous.” [Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse: 187].

A Muslim person should stay in the mosque for the period of The I’tikaf (nights) except for moments for personal needs such as toilet, food, and drink etc.

PREPARED BY: Ibrahim Hassan Gagale

March 26, 2022

Taken from the Book named: LIVING IN ISLAM ON MARRIAGE AND FAMILY

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