I miss you…long time no see…You were my shoulder..Five days after central hotel attack, was my worst day ever. Always i think about you.. Our last meeting was in a bus..Your were second seat, and I was first one. Your were skinny and slimy, suffering from ill. It was almost evening, in Mogadisho time. Do you remember? Absolutely not, you may not? I do not surprise at you. Because you may for get. You are human to forget! but I can not, whatever i am. How I may? No way.

Time teaches you everything. It is taught me remembering, specially about you. Nothing else at all. It is all about that. We were not together. I was in a dark room, in a terrible night! Terrible! Terrible! Terrible night!. According to me and my brothers and even sisters. I was hearing call from someone I did not know. It was female voice, saying like " soul has gone from her…she passed away…may Allah grant her his jannah” what was a shock! I cried on the bed…Cried up and down, up and down..Sit and sleep. Out and inside.. Tried to get out of the compound, but I could not. My father and I were crying together badly. Tears came out from our eyes as water. Soon, the sun risen- up, and sent golden arrows to our eyes. It was like happy, but we were not.

Lot of people were coming minute after minute. They were touching my head and moving their fingers on my hair. "Allah give her, his jannah” was the most word of saying. Mostly they were looking my face and reading sad feelings from my eyes. I hated them how they were looking at me, then I decided to ran out. I reached Taleh village, particularly futsal stadium. Some of my friends were playing football. I sat alone on a chair. They requested me to play with them, and I allowed. I had prepared my self to play with them. My friend passed me the ball with out goal keeper. I jumped over the ball and got in the net my self as a ball. Loss goal! They were shouted to me. I was the worst and dullest player in the stadium. After game over, mostly players were insulting me. That was what i earned!

When you were in a world, happiness lived with me and i lived with it. It was on my bed as my wife....in my mind as my thought...Was in everywere i go, like my skin and skeletal. It was in my bocket as a cash money. I had everything in my life. Such: Education, money, food, Playing, happiness and self confidence, however, all I lost when you got dead.

Later, I grew-up. Life was teaching me lessons..Sometimes, I was in a bad mood. While some in perfect. That is whole life. Furthermore, people were giving me hot face, like fire. Not all of them, but those who know your helpless, or those who know your bad lucky. I met both of them, but I did not care about them. It does not matter who helps you or who hats you. It does not matter who tells other people your circumstances, but the matter is knowing your self-challenges in life. Anyhow, everyman looks after his interest in this world, even president, minister, governor and even Father. So that, no one knows you and your needs but, you have to know. Do not be like unfortunate dog, but be furtunate man.

No one can happy weeks, months and years with out mother. You are feeling sorrow, whether you are age, having money, living your life in top or not. I really get sad, whenever I remember your sweet voice as a honey. Mom! Still world is how you knew. No change at all! Days are still changing their cycle. Sun raises east and sets west. But there is little change about me. I became a man, not only that, but also, I have practiced living the most hard live, with no money, no happiness, no satisfaction and education. Yet i am not free from my relative and my clan. They still dictating me what they want, such my fields of education with helpless and support. Though majority are good while others are not, they are my beloved ones.

Once in my life, I decided to go your grave position, to but my head on it, if I can hear your voice or talk with you. However, I realize that it could not happen. Guess a world with out mother. If you were in a jail, I would break the wall of it, to make you out. If You were in a sea, I would swim crazily to take you out from it. However, you are in a hidden life and place, that man can not go freely, and came back.

W/QCabdisalaan Axmed Maxamuud - Ceeryaamo

Friday, 29th, May 2020

Mogadisho, Somalia